Three Kicks
A big-city California lawyer went duck hunting in rural Texas. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer’s field on the other side of a fence. As he climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.

The litigator responded, “I shot a duck and it fell into this field, and now I’m going to retrieve it.”

The old farmer replied, “This is my property, and you are not coming over here.”

The indignant lawyer said, “I am one of the best trial attorneys in the US and if you don’t let me get that duck, I’ll sue you and take everything you own.”

The old farmer smiled and said, “Apparently, you don’t know how we do things in Texas. We settle small disagreements like this with the Texas Three-Kick Rule.”

The lawyer asked, “What is the Texas Three-Kick Rule?”

The farmer replied, “Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth, until someone gives up.”

The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.

The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the city feller. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the lawyer’s groin and dropped him to his knees. His second kick nearly wiped the man’s nose off his face. The barrister was flat on his belly when the farmer’s third kick to a kidney nearly caused him to give up.

The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet and said, “Okay, you old coot! Now, it’s my turn!”

The old farmer smiled and said, “No, I give up. You can have the duck!”


Each man gives a story

Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day, though, so Peter had to tell the first one, "Heaven's getting pretty close to full today, and I've been asked to admit only people who have had particularly horrible deaths. So what's your story?"

So the first man replies: "Well, for a while I've suspected my wife has been cheating on me, so today I came home early to try to catch her red-handed. As I came into my 25th floor apartment, I could tell something was wrong, but all my searching around didn't reveal where this other guy could have been hiding. Finally, I went out to the balcony, and sure enough, there was this man hanging off the railing, 25 floors above ground! By now I was really mad, so I started beating on him and kicking him, but wouldn't you know it, he wouldn't fall off. So finally I went back into my apartment and got a hammer and starting hammering on his fingers. Of course, he couldn't stand that for long, so he let go and fell -- but even after 25 stories, he fell into the bushes, stunned but okay. I couldn't stand it anymore, so I ran into the kitchen, grabbed the fridge and threw it over the edge where it landed on him, killing him instantly. But all the stress and anger got to me, and I had a heart attack and died there on the balcony."

"That sounds like a pretty bad day to me," said Peter, and let the man in.

The second man comes up and Peter explains to him about heaven being full, and again asks for his story.

"It's been a very strange day. You see, I live on the 26th floor of my apartment building, and every morning I do my exercises out on my balcony. Well, this morning I must have slipped or something, because I fell over the edge. But I got lucky, and caught the railing of the balcony on the floor below me. I knew I couldn't hang on for very long, when suddenly this man burst out onto the balcony. I thought for sure I was saved, when he started beating on me and kicking me. I held on the best I could until he ran into the apartment and grabbed a hammer and started pounding on my hands. Finally I just let go, but again I got lucky and fell into the bushes below, stunned but all right. Just when I was thinking I was going to be okay, this refrigerator comes falling out of the sky and crushes me instantly, and now I'm here."

Once again, Peter had to concede that that sounded like a pretty horrible death.

The third man came to the front of the line, and again Peter explained that heaven was full and asked for his story.

"Picture this," says the third man, "I'm hiding inside a refrigerator..."

and 1 more xtra....

Can you Answer at least one of the following Question? Try before scrolling down.......

Q: An elephant has 5 bananas and it is hungry, but yet it does not eat the bananas. Why?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.

.
.
.
.
.


Ans: Because the bananas are made of plastic.

Next.Question is ...........

The 5 bananas are real , but yet the elephant does not eat it. Why?

.
.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.

.
.
.

.
.
.

.
.
.
.
Because the elephant is made of plastic.

Hahhaa. never give up. one more..




Both the elephant and the bananas are real, but yet it cannot eat it.
.
.
.
.

.
.

Why ?

.
.
.
.

.
.
.
.

.
.
.
.

.
.
.
.
.
.

Because the bananas are in the TV.

Ooops!!! Cool down.



Both the elephant and the bananas are real and in the TV, but yet it cannot eat it. Why?


.
.
.
.

.
.
.
.
,
,
,

,
,
,
,
,
.
.
.

.
.
.

Because they are on different channels.

Hohohohoohohoh...... hehehe




Both the elephant and the bananas are real and in the TV and on the same channel, but yet it cannot eat it. Why?
.
.
.
.
.

.
.
.
.
.

.
.
.
.
.
.


.
.
.
.
.
Cmon think ..
.
.
.
..
.
.
.

.
.
.
.
.

.
.
.
.
.
.

.
.
.

.
.
.
.

.
.
.
.

.
.
.

Because the TV is off.

Kikikikikiki


Now Finally the Elephant gets a chance to eat the bananas. Why?


.
.
.
..
.
.
.

.
.
.
.
.

.
.
.
.
.
.

.
.
.

.
.
.
.

.
.
.
.

.
.
.


why the hell do u think so much...let that poor animal have some food....Thank you..

Labels: lol